Flat

Here are some pics of the flat we'll be moving into the middle of the month.
It's very similar to our current flat, only bigger, a bit further away and with some incredible views of the mountains. We're pretty excited but there are many details to work out, so please pray as we work though the process.

Contentedness is a slippery concept. Just when I think I'm doing pretty well, something creeps in and throws me off track.

I have been really looking forward to our family trip to Thailand. We're leaving tomorrow and I have been counting down for months. It's the perfect place for us to go, lots of great scenery, perfect for families, good hiking and other outdoor activities, paradise for us!

Then, on my favorite day of the year, Easter, I take a tumble. Nothing bad, but enough to rip a ligament in my ankle and set me down for a little while. I was so frustrated and discouraged at the fact that "my" vacation wouldn't be the same.

The more I think about it, the more I realize how it's not a big deal. At the end of the day, I will still be spending a week with my family in an amazing place. I've got three books I want to read, tons of time watching my girls enjoy life and drinking smoothies.

I don't want to get caught up feeling sorry for myself. Being in Thailand is amazing enough. Getting to be there on vacation with my family is all I need. I'll let you know how it goes!

Take a hike

There are few places in the world I would rather be than Fontana Dam at Smoky Mountain National Park. That area of the park has always been a favorite of mine for its subtle beauty.

The ultimate test of falling in love for me was the great outdoors. In reality if Melissa had hated being outside, the blindness of love would've gotten me through. One long day proved she was a keeper.

I didn't know then that Melissa is prone to car sickness. I can only imagine how she must've felt after a 2 1/2 hour drive through the craziest roads I know of in the south. It's a beautiful journey from Toccoa to Fontana but it is not straight at all. It didn't seem to matter to her, she kept pressing on.

There was definitely some early tension, awkward quietness and vague questions that come with trying to get a feel for the day and how it might go. Nate and Andrea were with us and helped keep the conversation moving. Still, I have to think that Melissa and I were both pretty nervous. My taking her hiking was a big step in my mind and I think that showed.

I was head over heels for her already. After the evening at the coffee shop I was hers even with the Michael Jackson character flaw. When she readily agreed to come on a walk in the woods with me I was stoked.

Shortly after we started hiking it was pretty clear we weren't going to make the final destination. We took a detour, ended up having dinner along the trail and walking back in the dark. Watching Melissa take everything in, looking around, enjoying not only the beauty around us but the times of silence, the pace, and the great freeze dried pasta was surreal. I remember looking at her in those moments and seeing someone that was so much more than she tried to let on. She was a thinker for sure and she asked questions, good, hard, confusing, fun questions.

We came back down, readying ourselves for the smelly drive home (I hike, I sweat, I smell, it's inevitable) and paused to star gaze at the dam. I'm not sure how long we looked up; it felt like Hiro Nakamura had stopped time for us :) and gave us the chance to let down and talk. Who knows what all we talked about, that detail hasn't stuck with me. What stays with me is that we were together. There was a moment that night where it finally occurred to me that we would be walking the same path together for a long time.

She's proven time and again to be the toughest hiker I know, able to go one more step no matter what. That particular Saturday wasn't about the hiking, that day was about us, together. It was that day that I looked into her eyes and knew I could spend the rest of my life with her.

We've been climbing ever since.

Michael Jackson

A lot transpired between our first meeting and what I consider our "first" date. There is some debate over what our actual first date really was, but the evening I'm referring to here was the first time we did something together by ourselves.

We went out for coffee at the world famous coffee shop in Toccoa; world famous only becuase we live in Hong Kong now and still speak of it, thus making it world famous. We had a good time talking, getting to know each other, listening to our stories, all the normal begginings that make romance both fun and stressful.

What I remember most fondly about this experience is the drive afterward. As we were travelling, I noticed she had some tapes in the car (yeah you could still find tapes in 1999). And much to my surprise and dismay, I found a copy of a Michael Jackson tape right there in her car. That's right, Michael Jackson. I think the tape in question was 'Bad', no doubt a fan favorite but certainly not something I'd expect in the car of the object of my affections.

She looked at me with the eyes that screamed, "I've got a Michael Jackson tape in my car and if you've got a problem with that then tough!" and with much grace allowed me to mercilessly mock her for years to come.

I don't care at all about her poor taste in music, but I loved the fact that she was her own person. I loved that she didn't care whether I liked her crappy music or not, it was hers and that's that. I loved the fact that she could laugh about it.

Looking back on that evening brings an obvious sense of fulfilment to my heart. She's time and again proven to be the most amazing woman I've ever met. As we listened to Michael Jackson that night I fell in love with a girl that could laugh at herself and have fun being her. I grow more hopelessly in love with that girl every day.

Look

Being the week of Valentine's Day it seemed like a good time to reminisce on the events surrounding falling in love with the most wonderful woman alive.

I first saw Melissa with her friend Rachel on the campus of TFC. I'd just returned to school after taking a year off to teach in China. Nate and I were coming back from a trip to Wal Mart, a daily ritual marking the kickoff of a new semester.

As we pulled back onto campus, we saw Rachel. She was one of those girls that everyone knew (in a good way), played volleyball, and was easy to get along with. Today, she happened to be with a new face. To be fair, after a year off, everything seemed new to me. I introduced her to Nate and was promptly introduced to Melissa for the first time.

I remember thinking the obvious; she's cute. I also remember noting how nervous she looked and wondering what she must be thinking. I'd transferred in during my sophomore year and really struggled to adjust. I wondered what it was like for her, transferring into the Christian bubble from a state university.

As we caught up with Rachel, Melissa didn't say much. I wouldn't have either in a situation like that. I remember being struck by her genuine interest in what I had to say though she had no idea who I was. That didn't seem to happen much.

Those eyes, watching everything we did, taking it all in, she was able to look at me in such a way that has stayed with me. The details of that meeting might be a bit shaky but I still see her eyes and how they saw me. She didn't just look at me, she saw me. I will never forget that detail.

updated wee-mike

i realized changes could me made. Here's a more accurate little me.
I can't stop... really... it's that fun... make your own... you know you want to...

Fright

My home phone rang last night at 2:30 in the morning. I wasn't able to get to it in time, thus sending my mind spinning. Then, about 5 minutes later it rang again. Mind going nuts, I rushed to pick up the phone wondering what could be wrong. With Melissa and Izzy travelling yesterday, you can imagine my state of mind.

When I finally picked up I was greeted by a Cantonese speaker. I repeatedly asked if they spoke any English (usually they'll speak a little) but got nothing but more Canto. Another woman came on and did more of the same. At this point, I hung up confident that whatever was going on really didn't involve me.

Who calls anyone at 2:30 in the morning if it's not an emergency? Further, when the answering machine comes on in English, why call back if you already know you won't be able to communicate?

As far as I know, my family is just fine. That didn't ease my mind at all through the evening and obviously, sleep wasn't easy to come by after that. To fill the time, I watched the Matrix.

The moral of the story: Phones ring. It just not might be for you.

Frantic

Alanis Morrisette (sp?) had some wisdom, don't ya think? Life is a little ironic.
Last Friday began our 4 week study on listening to God. Here's the outline:

Week 1: Posture--Are we really seeking to hear God? Both Moses and Elijah ended up at the Mount of God (Horeb), but do we find time to seek Him?

Week 2: Silence--Why is being still so hard?

Week 3: Patience--Maybe we don't need the answer right now? How sovereign do we believe God really is?

Week 4: Obey--What if we have such a hard time listening to God because we're afraid of what He might say?

As I've been prepping for this week, I've been studying what guys like Thomas Merton, Thomas A Kempis, Tozer, and newer guys like Tony Jones, Mark Yaconelli and Richard Foster have to say about the subject. It's been great. I've been convicted of my own lack of spiritual discipline, my personal noise that pushes the voice of God to the side and my unwillingness to be a man of few words.

Throughout the week I have set aside some specific times to prayerfully prepare for Friday and more importantly just be with God. Yet in each of these times I let myself get distracted almost to a point beyond recovery.

Take today for instance. I headed over to Pacific Coffee Company, put on some quiet background music to drown everything out and sat there reading and reflecting. It started so well. Then thoughts of what "had" to be done began creeping in. Then it was lots of thought of inadequacy, fear, and doubt about all sorts of things. It got to the point where the response became very physical, I simply couldn't sit there. I had to get up and move. I had to DO something.

To come face to face with my own frailty is painful. I have three weeks to myself. Melissa and Isabella are back in the states visiting family. I miss them terribly but also looked forward to the chance to just be alone in solitude with God. Instead, more of the same, busy brain that I experienced this morning.

I won't be giving up. In fact, tonight, I'm making some adjustments to make sure I'm available to the importance of just simply being with God.

I'm embarrassed at how difficult this endeavor has been. In this embarrassment is the truth that it's been far too long since I truly communed with God consistently. I've spent time with Him but have avoided that silence that draws me into His presence. Why?

"It is often when we're swallowed up in God that we find our true selves."
Tony Jones in The Sacred Way, 42

I'm afraid of my true self. I'll have to deal with hard things, with those insecurities, with my activity of doing so much that I avoid being who God has called me to be.

May this time of solitude be a painful awakening, drawing nearer to God in the quietness of my soul resting in Him.

The week

It's been too long since I've posted. I've had lots of thoughts and things I needed to think through in written form but just haven't done it. So here's a recap of the week:

1. Melissa and Isabella left very early this morning for the states. They'll be gone just over three weeks and I'm already lonely.
2. I finished "The Cost of Discipleship" last week. Easily one of the three best (non Bible) books I've ever read. Deep, slow going at times but thoroughly convicting and challenging.
3. Shaved almost an hour off our 20km hike/run time. I doubt that will happen again but it was good. Now I just have to get two 10km runs in during the week.
4. Started a series with our youth on Listening to God. I'm really excited about this because of all I'm learning as I prepare for it. The first night went well. This week, our attention is on silence.
5. One of our students that's really been struggling has just blown me away lately. The guy is deep. I love watching him explore God and ask questions along the journey. I'm so proud of him.

It was a long and very good week. This week will be different. More reading, more exercise and more silence.

20km

Training began yesterday for the Trailwalker. It didn't so much begin and explode with a flurry of physical exertion that's been foreign to my lazy body for far too long.
The highlights:
1. The Trailwalker is an annual race that covers 100km (about 62 miles) in as little time as possible. Our leader says our goal is 20 hours.
2. Hong Kong hiking trails are paved at least 80% of the time in some way, shape, or form. This is much less agreeable on the body than good ol' terra firma.
3. After a good bit of climbing, we came to a flatter section and decided to run. Yeah, run, because somewhere that seemed like a good idea.
4. It was only 2 hours in that we were informed the "hike" would cover about 20km. But, not to worry, we'll increase the dstance gradually over the next couple of months.
5. It was hard but I loved it. I haven't spent enough time outdoors.
6. We'll do it again next week and I can't wait.

Haunted

I just finished reading Elie Wiesel's Night
I wish books like this didn't need to be written.
I wish I knew what a proper response to a work like this would be.
I don't think there is a "proper" response.
I pray that we won't forget.

Auden

W.H.Auden says it well: I want to approach the future as a friend, without a wardrobe of excuses.

I live life making a lot of excuses for things both within and outside of my control. Why? I think it’s because I try so hard to control my surroundings. One of my myriad personal challenges is my compulsive desire to be over prepared. Whenever planning is involved, I go crazy trying to think through every possible outcome, problem, lull, and scenario that may present itself.

This isn't always a bad trait to possess. It’s been a help in many situations. When it gets in the way of allowing life to happen according to God’s will is when it becomes a negative factor in life. Having all my ducks in a row isn't as necessary as I keep acting like it is.

May 2007 be a year that I approach the future and God’s will without my lenses of prognostication and simply follow where He leads.