Improbable Faith

I'm going to be posting a series of thoughts and reflections on our recent trip to the Philippines with our youth group. This one is in the form of a devotional for our church prayer newsletter that goes out to our "e partners in prayer".

Improbable Faith

Scripture Reading: James 5: 13-20,

It's been quite a week for our AIC family. Unbeknownst to me most of the time I was in the Phillippines with our youth, Pastor Ed was undergoing major eye surgery. Meanwhile, Pastor Aris and family are reconnecting with their families, also in the Philippines. Others in our church are preparing for, or have already departed for journeys of different purposes, lengths, and destinations. More families are readying themselves for missions or service trips.

Any way you look at it, while there is a perception that everything slows down over the summer, reality says that's not the case. Having worked with students for the majority of my time in full time ministry, summer always means some type of journey. This summer, it was the Philippines, then in a couple of weeks, it will be the States. The journeys of our lives never stop, do they?

On the Sunday before we were to leave for Davao, I found out that there was a fairly significant problem with one of our student's plane tickets. The name was incorrect, meaning, without quick action, he would not be allowed to board the plane.

Before anyone could say go, I was off. I first tried calling our travel agent, then someone else I thought could help, then finally, I was able to reach the office of the Philippine Airlines. Their news was not at all encouraging. I was told we would have to rebook the ticket, or just buy a new one, two answers I certainly did not want to hear.

I knew that Monday, the 2nd of July was a holiday so I would not be able to reach our travel agent to rebook the ticket with the correct name. Even before our trip began, we were already facing a crisis. Personally, this was becoming a crisis of faith. I was given a choice. I could wait until we arrived at the airport the next morning and beg the airline to help, or I could go ahead and purchase a new ticket online so that there would be absolutely no problems the next day. In my heart, I felt like I should step back and just wait; in my mind, I decided to begin the booking process of a new ticket. The process was almost fully completed when Melissa walked by and asked what I was doing. I explained it to her, she looked at me with a puzzled look and simply said, "Didn't we just pray about this? Don't you have any faith?"

There are those moments in our lives where the conviction of the Holy Spirit can feel like a punch in the stomach. In this case, that conviction came from the words of my wonderful wife, "Don't you have any faith?" The worst part was, when I have studied spiritual gifts, it has always come up that I have the gift of faith. Apparently I haven't been using my gifts.

In that brief moment of humiliation and conviction, my mind was drawn to the numerous times of Christ challenging His disciples with 4 words: "You of little faith". That was me! I was the "you of little faith". If I had just prayed about this situation, why was I trying so quickly to solve the problem for God? The answer was all too clear; I wasn't trusting Him.

When we enter into a relationship with God in prayer, too often we do so with a one sided agenda. Too often we ask God for things that we're not really expecting Him to handle. Or, we say we need His help but in our minds add the post script, just as long as it's on our terms. That doesn't seem to fit with the instructions James gives us on prayer. He calls us to call on the name of the Lord, believe in Him, and trust that God will answer, forgive, heal, and work out perfectly, according to His perfect will.

Prayer is a sacred privilege for Christ followers. It's a privilege that I too often take for granted. I'm embarrassed to have to write what little faith I had as I prayed over this situation. As I look back, it's even worse because I see how small an issue it really was. We arrived at the airport, got in line, talked to one lady, found proof of the correct name, and all was taken care of. It was that simple. I felt like a fool. I had no faith.

Even more, my lack of faith was shown through again. I had asked each of our students to be prepared to share their testimonies at different points in the week. When it came time for the student that almost didn't make it to share, God used his words in such powerful ways that I believe they will have an impact for years to come. Had I purchased that ticket on my own, that young man wouldn't have seen God work a miracle and may not have shared his story. I have so little faith.

May this day be a day of prayers of great faith. We do not know how God will answer, and that's okay. Our responsibility is to approach Him with prayers of faith, believing, knowing, and trusting that He is working, that He is Sovereign and will answer in His perfect way. Summer is a season of journeys, not the least of which is the journey of faith.

May God bless your prayers of great faith.

Retreat

this weekend we are on a retreat with about 20 of our youth. it's been very humbling to see how God is stirring in their hearts as we walk through different experiences.
hannah led our session last night bringing some of the pieces together before we finish this morning and she did an incredible job. she had us use our 5 senses to see God revealed in and around us. God felt so present in those quiet moments (not that He isn't present all the time).
the first pic of brett keeps rotating, can't seem to fix it this morning; still a great pic of how we've pursued God this weekend.

Leading

Tonight during dinner one of our students asked me how I decide what I teach on each week. This wasn't all that crazy of a question and is, in fact, one I've heard many times before. However it's usually asked in the context of "what were you thinking?" or did you honestly think that would work?".

David's question struck me as coming straight from the heart. We'd just finished our third week in the series on listening to God, this time talking about waiting and I explained that I felt like this was where God was leading our group and that I do my best to have things planned out at least a few months in advance. I shared with him that for me it's about trusting God to guide me and direct me even if I don't understand exactly how that info is getting to me. I told him I'm not such an original thinker so I have to rely on the amazing creativity of God to lead us right where He wants us to go, together.

As I finished my little ditty, he looked at me and said thanks because the past couple of weeks were just what he wanted and needed to hear.

It's amazing how God works. I felt like tonight flopped. Everyone seemed to be focused on anything but listening to God. If anything, it was a competition to see who could be the loudest. And then, with one question, everything changed:

How do you decide what you teach us?
Thank God the answer to that is a resounding, I don't.
I'm not that smart.


Lord, thank you for speaking even when I feel like I can barely hear You. Thanks for using a broken vessel. Thank you for letting me serve students that are changing everything! Thank you for being sovereign. Thank you for letting me be even a tiny part of Your story in the lives of such amazing people.

Weight

We continued our study of Ecclesiastes tonight at (R)evolve focusing on the issue of weight. After having everyone weigh themselves on a scale, I asked our students to write and then discuss what weighs them down in life and why?
As we talked about why we thought Solomon might have felt so depressed (see 1:8-9, 2:9-10 specifically), the depth of thought coming out of the mouths of these teenagers was well beyond their years.
As we listened to the Crowder song "Wholly Yours" the question was posed of what we life be like if we could lift our eyes beyond ourselves and lose all that weight that we carry. As I watched our kids wrestle with and respond to this I realized how much of me I've been carrying. I was leading a discussion on being free and eternally minded yet here I am coming face to face with my own frailty.
I'm glad that it was with our students that this hit me. We're on this journey together and I love that I can lead students but also be honest with them and let them know I struggle too. Somehow, I hope that brings the message to life just a little more.

Progression II

The progression planned for our lock-in didn't go at all as planned. Looking back over the evening and morning I'm both saddened that I didn't have things a little better structured and pleased that I didn't resort to too much structure.
While I was really excited to think through some of the raw emotion of Ecclesiastes, I know that time will come, later.
I feel like I'm continually having to learn that my best laid plans, if relied too heavily upon, only get in the way of divine plans. Sure enough, the evening provided a few of those moments. They weren't structured and they certainly weren't planned. Hopefully, their significance will reach far beyond any lesson I wasn't able to share that night.
The longer I do this, the more I am coming to grips with how little I know and how desperately I need the help of the Holy Spirit every step of the way.

Progression

The focus of our three sessions during this year's lock in is the book of Ecclesiastes. As the primary goal of our lock in is community and spiritual development, our goal during these times is to wrestle, together, with what Solomon was wrestling with and see what conclusions God will open up to us.

Session One: Weighing In--is everything really meaningless?
(Ecclesiastes 1:8-9, 2:8)
What perspectives do we have on life, do we convey to others and what weight do these perspectives place on our lives?

Session Two: Mirrors
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Life is a series of seasons--we seem to think the one we’re in is all that matters but what if we were able to take a more eternal outlook on life?

Session Three: Eyes Wide Open
Ecclesiastes 5:1
Can we hear God? Are we even trying to? What kind of life could we lead if we listened more and spoke less?

May God use these times to draw us together, toward Him.

Just heart

Continued thoughts about justice.

Last night went pretty well, though I'm not sure how well it all came together at the end. Lots of questions about pain, fairness and what we deserver came up.

My next thought is, if we are to live as Christ, taking care of the least of these, why do we struggle with it so much. It's the easiest thing in the world to say we should do. And we love talking about social justice and all that needs done. In fact, people seem to get energized behind a cause, for a time.

That's the problem, it seems like we embrace a life of serving the destitute, hurting, unlovely, etc., those that need some love, for a time then move back into our daily lives. I'm horribly guilty of this.

I haven't come to many conclusions save it has become a personal problem. Here's what I mean. Groups, when motivated and energized, seem to do a good job of furthering whatever cause they might be behind. Think about it, Republicans, Democrats, Greenpeace, The World Wildlife Fund, The One Campaign, (Red), etc. These are causes that people get behind, often very strongly. And they are often entered into because of that group. We gravitate toward those that we share like passions with and join them in their journey.

It seems to be more difficult to just go out, find a hurting neighbor and help them. That doesn't fit into a time when we can all gather and fix the problem. It doesn't necessarily help our social status and it certainly isn't very visible. All of which are significant reasons to DO exactly what is hard. Because whether seen or not, people need each other to go out of their way to help; even if they go it alone.

As I continue to work through this with our students, I'll keep posting. I think this is a venture that will shape my soul and the souls of my youth in mighty ways.

Just

Tonight, our youth group begins a series on the theme of justice. It's been on my mind and in my heart to do something along these lines since Cbass brought up the idea about a year ago. He'd been reading a book on the subject and made some very stirring and convicting comments about how easy it is to look the other way.

Our first look at justice is through the eyes of pain, specifically the thoughts of David in Psalm 119. I have no intent of giving many answers tonight; I'd much rather pose a lot of questions about ourselves and our world.

As we progress through the series, we will broaden the scope of our "frames" a little more each week. Tonight, pain and justice in our lives. Why are we, like I said in a previous post, more concerned with fairness than love? Deep down, do we think people really do get what they deserve? Why?

This will be a heavy night for us I'm sure. That's okay. Justice or lack thereof is heavy. Maybe that's why I'm so afraid to really dig into it.

Bound Freedom

Pastor Ed led our staff devotional yesterday, choosing to think through 1 Corinthians 9:19-23. His insights have stayed with me all day, night, and this morning. First, the text:

19Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. 20To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. 21To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God's law but am under Christ's law), so as to win those not having the law. 22To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. 23I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings

I've always loved this passage and taken great solace in its inspiration. Sadly, as Pastor Ed shared his heart, it became clear that I have missed the mark. He brought up how easy it is to focus on the freedom and individuality of our faith, especially in today's world, that we skip over verse 19. Not intentionally, but in our entire thought processes, and for some, our theology. Paul comments on his slavery to everyone, a practice that I haven't lived out.

When Paul states that he's a slave to everyone, he's doing so by choice, meaning he's a bondservant to those of this world. That's big. By way of example in life and deed, he's demonstrating that while yes, freedom in Christ is amazing, it's gotta come in the midst of bondage, exactly what I fight so hard against. You see, I like my rights, and I like fairness, neither of which fit within the bounds of loving others as myself, or being a slave to others.

Being a slave, or bondservant does not mean that I'm to be a doormat. It's much more exciting than that. It means that whether I like it or not, I'm going to temper my freedoms within the framework of the most effective ways to love and serve others. And that's the rub. I like others, and I really do like serving them. But it's usually done in ways that are most comfortable, easiest and most convenient, FOR ME.


Freedom through bondage. Pretty big stuff.

3

From a youth ministry standpoint, it's been one great week. I like how marko talks about his small group so I'll try to follow suit. Below are abbreviated accounts of three conversations with students this week.

1. Wednesday night discipleship group (note: our first meeting)
me--so I'd like to do this every week.
guys--okay, that'd be cool
me--and i think it'd be good if we took some time to talk about some spiritual stuff
guys--yeah
me--but it'll mean we'll have to be honest with each other. it could be hard
guys--that's okay.
guys--let's go look at cds

2. Friday night youth group: (R)evolve
girl--So is it possible for someone who's never been "preached to" to go to heaven?
guy1--Yeah, you have to think about it in terms of general revelation and stuff.
guy2--it's about choices.
girl--so even though the aztecs believed God hated them, they could've chosen to follow God based on what had been revealed?
guy1--yep
me--(thinking to myself)--wow, not sure i need to be here, they're doing pretty well on their own. and how many high schoolers have i ever met that throw around general revelation?
guy3--when are we gonna eat?

3. Friday night on msn
guy--hey
me--hey
guy--can i ask you a question?
me--yeah
guy--what do i need to do to get baptized?
me--explaining a little to him
guy--sweet. could i do that as soon as exams are over?
This from a guy that says very little in Sunday school and has been tough to get to know. But wow, he's thinking!

I have such a cool job.

labels

I've been doing a lot of thinking about ministry here in Hong Kong. I guess I should since that's where I believe God has led me to serve. My friend Dan and I were discussing the youth we work with at dinner last night. Being good, enculturated men, we were sitting at a TGI Fridays. Anyway, I digress.
We have separately come to the same conclusion about our youth. I must preface my next few statements with a warning. I hate labels and avoid them whenever possible. I have found myself cringing whenever I hear someone label themselves as emergent or post-modern, modern, or anything. I kinda feel like these are more patterns of thought than ways to classify identity. I love the ambiguity and mystery that comes from living life. I love the fact that we are all created wondrefully and uniquely. I love that I don't have it all figured out and I HATE labels that act as if we do.
I'll get off my soap box now and back to my point. Though I hate to do it, I feel that good scholarship and effective anthropology means identifying and yes, labeling the groups in descriptive ways. With that, Dan and I developed a label that I think fits the students we work with. This label wouldn't work for all youth ministries in Hong Kong, but the more time I spend with our students, the more I believe this is where they are. Are you ready for this amazingly profound label?
One way to classify our students and their journeys is as mid-modernists. They sure aren't modern, but they have a very linear way of thinking that's a staple of modernity. They aren't post-modern but they still love to learn experientially when given the opportunity. There is much more to it than these two blanket statements but for now, they suffice.
A mid-modern student in Hong Kong is a student living in the dichotomy of a culture that's as old as any in the world (Chinese) in a city that's one of the most modern on the planet, balancing a synthesis of cultural influences from all over with their unique ethnicity. Their education is based on a very modern system, yet they want to think outside the accepted pattern more and more. They are mid-modern.
It's a label, I know, but it helps me understand a little better how I might be able to effectively communicate love, truth, hope, and peace.
It's a start.

Layers

Hong Kong continues to surprise me. We've been here almost a year and I continue to realize how little I know and understand of this eclectic culture. Today we went to TST to do some shopping, an area we've been many times before. Only this time was different. I think it's partly because I was thinking about the whole Cultural Intelligence discussion and partly beacause I stumbled into two new areas I hadn't seen before. I hadn't seen them because I'd never gone underground to that part of the city. It's nice to live somewhere that can surprise you daily. It made me think of the people here and how little I have done to look below the surface of their lives.
I just started reading Dave Livermore's new book, Serving with Eyes Wide Open and it's been good for me to re-evaluate some of my attitudes and perceptions of ministry here.
One of the things he discusses is the American perception of the typical Christian vs. the typical Christian in the world. Dave comments that the Western church is no longer the center and trendsetter of Christianity in the world."
I've come face to face with some harsh realities of my ministry style here recently. While I feel that our relationships with our kids are deepening, there seems to be an ongoing spiritual disconnect. The truth is, I have tried very much to lead a youth ministry based on models and ideas of Christianity and ministry that worked well in the states. But Christianity is different here. Perceptions of God aren't the same. The word "relationship" means different things. Plurality is more about synthesizing God into a secular view of life than it is about synthesizing various gods into one worldview.
I have tried hard to serve well here. But I've done it within the framework of western Christianity. It's hard not to when Hong Kong in many ways is so intensely western. I'm stepping back, yet again, trying to slow things down and look more closely at what it means to breathe love, life, peace and truth into lives here. As God opens my eyes, I look forward to seeing some new layers in our new home culture, and in my own life as well.
It's exciting to see the potential. I believe we are just getting started and God is opening our eyes to a whole new way of thinking about ministry, cultural awareness and success. I wonder what it will be like to look back ten years from now as I comment how ignorant I was?

Lines

I've noticed something about people lately. It started with a book I read about community and the church. As I try to keep my eyes open walking through life, I'm noticing how we all seem to draw relational lines in the sand.
When relationships get to certain points, we seem to keep ourselves from going deeper. Myers asserts that that can be okay and that it's important to realize that not all relationships will grow to the same level.
Here's why I'm thinking so much about this: I think sometimes we draw lines in relationships because we aren't willing to let them get any deeper. Sometimes, I think we just decide they are too much work, or it would be too humbling to let that relationship continue.
I have done this more times than I would like to admit.
In observing church life in and outside of the states it seems like we are great at these lines, especially where there is hurt or the perception of wrongdoing. Looking at the scriptural model of Christ's bride always brings me back to a very different habit, a habit of reconciliation.
I've been reading through Romans very slowly and keep coming being convicted of the tremendous love and effort Christ demonstrated so that we might be reconciled to God. And then I have to come back and consider my earthly relationships and how lazy and stubborn I have been. I realize that I haven't been willing to pursue peace and there are many relationships that I haven't given life to because of my line in the sand.
I think it's also important to dream for a moment. I think if we, the church, were to embrace a lifestyle of reconciliation we would see a changed world. People taking risks to salvage relationships paints a poignant picture to a world in need of hope. May I be open to giving life and peace to the relationships I've been given.

Unconscious

Last night our friend Chris came over. With all that’s going on around in both of our lives our conversation couldn’t help but turn to the Church. The question of the night was, “Can people that love the Lord somehow allow sinful thoughts/attitudes to penetrate their hearts to the point where they don’t even realize it’s sinful?”
Malcolm Gladwell asserts “we don’t deliberately choose our attitudes.” (Blink, pg 85) He’s talking about unconscious judgments we make in life. I think there can be a spiritual unconscious to our lives too. Just like there can be hidden attitudes in our lives that we don’t always realize are there I think we can let sin have such a foothold that we can no longer identify it. It seems to me that even the most well-intentioned, God seeking people can get caught up in their own concept of God’s will so much so that they become darkened to God’s truth.
This revelation scares me. It makes me fear for the Church (universal). It makes me fear for myself. Could I become one of those Christians that is able to see everyone else’s struggles yet blind to my own selfish pride? Melissa commented today that we all must make sure we are held accountable for our actions. We need those relationships where truth is spoken. I don’t think anyone would argue with that.
So why then is the church notorious for tip-toeing around sensitive issues of sin? Why does it seem that we can argue over church politics so much that we lose the church? I’ve heard so many church conflict stories that point to agendas, control and pride that I wonder aloud, “do all these people think they are right?” Do both sides in all these church arguments believe they are in the center of God’s will? Often, the answer is yes.
HOW is that possible? Are we deaf to the voice of God? Or, as I used to joke with my parents, have we turned our miracle ears ® off? Does there come in time in our lives where we have accepted sin for so long that even blatant rebellion against Christ can seem like the right thing? I say blatant rebellion because Christ called the Church His bride and breaking that up, or forcing a divorce sounds like rebellion to me.
The caveat is that maybe we don’t know it’s sin at the time. Maybe we really do think we are doing the right thing. We may even say that our motives were good but it just got out of hand. In the end, “it needed to happen”. Does that help the lives that have been hurt in the process? Who can tell who’s right or wrong when we all think we’re doing the right thing?
I’ve been around enough conflict in churches to realize that there are usually good and bad points on both sides of the big issue and that’s it’s rarely just one side that’s at fault. As this truth plays out in church after church, why can’t the two sides humble ourselves enough to actually work through the conflict? Why are politics more important than relationships? I have heard numerous accounts of congregants that used to be friends but now hate each other. That’s horrible, strong and telling language. It tells me that unconsciously we’ve let darkness in.
I’m troubled by these thoughts. It saddens me that the Church has a pattern of our unconscious attitudes winning the war and that I've probably been part of the problem instead of a solution. Maybe tomorrow I’ll have enough optimism to consider the incredibly meaningful word reconciliation. Today, I’m just too disheartened.